<p><img src="https://info.compassedu.hk/sucai/content/1682491871770/1682491871770.png" width="808" height="61" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.identitytheftpreventionsite.com/adviser_16423_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">張文姣</a></p> <p><span class="h6">簡介：2022年度&ldquo;創(chuàng)意先鋒獎(jiǎng)&rdquo;，專八優(yōu)秀，寫作能力與思考能力俱佳，寫作風(fēng)格多變。致力于為每一位客戶提供個(gè)性化的文書服務(wù)，已幫助150+同學(xué)獲得多所世界名校offer</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>很多同學(xué)在進(jìn)行素材撰寫的時(shí)候會發(fā)現(xiàn)：「我」沒有案例上那種吸睛的國際大賽經(jīng)歷，也沒有高含金的產(chǎn)出或研究項(xiàng)目；有的只是平平無奇的課設(shè)或畢設(shè)，好一點(diǎn)的會被評為優(yōu)秀論文，差一點(diǎn)的也就僅限于完成而已；參加的實(shí)習(xí)也只是負(fù)責(zé)一些基礎(chǔ)工作，接觸不到行業(yè)的核心，「我」又怎么能寫出深刻的行業(yè)洞察和發(fā)展前景？而他們不知道的是：<strong>平平無奇未必會遜色于新奇的經(jīng)歷，只要角度把握精準(zhǔn)，clich&eacute;的素材也能俘獲招生官的心哦。</strong></p> <p><br />之所以會覺得素材老套是因?yàn)榇蠖鄬W(xué)生的描述和感悟都是人云亦云，沒有真正融入自己的思考。所以，要想讓clich&eacute;變novelty，關(guān)鍵在于走腦的操作+走心的感悟。這樣，才能讓招生官相信，你有能力且有內(nèi)涵。</p> <p><br />今天<strong>#心動的文書#</strong>欄目，將與大家探尋如何另辟蹊徑，將平平無奇的經(jīng)歷妙筆生花，呈現(xiàn)出一份高含金量的personal statement。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span class="h1">方法一：化「泛」為「具」，申請動機(jī)更明確</span></p> <p><br /><strong>Before</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I grew up in a family of merchants, and this environment has instilled in me a strong interest in marketing. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【家庭影響：家人從商】</span>I believe that good marketing can create greater value for businesses and drive industry development. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【專業(yè)認(rèn)知：營銷為企業(yè)創(chuàng)造價(jià)值】</span>In recent years, the Hanfu industry has been thriving, and Chinese-style products have gradually gained recognition. As a cultural inheritor, I think that a good product can only form a virtuous cycle if it is sold. Therefore, marketing and cross-cultural research are essential to promote the development of this industry... This gave me a new perspective on the inheritance and revival of traditional culture. I feel that it is a great pity if national culture cannot be well inherited. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【營銷作用：能傳播傳統(tǒng)文化，推動國貨走出去】</span>As a result, I decided to start my own business in the future or work for a culture-related company. To achieve this dream, I chose to study international business at the Sino-foreign cooperative Nottingham University in Ningbo, and learned Japanese to experience Japanese culture and learn from their ways of inheritance and management.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【本科背景：學(xué)習(xí)國際商務(wù)，日本文化和繼承管理方式】</span> Now, as I am about to graduate, I hope to have the opportunity to deeply study marketing and acquire more marketing knowledge, in order to make a greater contribution to cultural inheritance and development<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【做出成績：致力于文化傳承與發(fā)揚(yáng)】</span>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>After</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Since junior high school, I have swooned over Hanfu culture. I am familiar with its history, design and development status and always hope to convey its charm to more people. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【深受漢服文化影響】</span>When serving as the Minister of Chinese Culture Community at the University of Nottingham Ningbo China, I was committed to cultural publicity from etiquette demonstrations that present the coming-of-age ceremony for men of Han nationality to historical stage plays that immerse audiences in the rich tapestry of China's past... Through my efforts, I have successfully organized Hanfu fashion shows and curated workshops that showcase the beauty of traditional Chinese attire and accessories. Utilizing social media platforms, I have attracted a wide and diverse audience, captivating them with Hanfu culture, including makeup styles from different dynasties and the art of creating intricate sachets and necklaces adorned with precious gems.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【大學(xué)期間致力于多樣的文化傳播科普活動：漢族成人禮，中國歷史舞臺劇，漢服科普，歷代妝容飾品等，并成功獲得了大批量的受眾追捧】</span> All these successful experiences have made me aware of the important role that marketing plays in promoting the development of the cultural and creative industry. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【意識到營銷在文創(chuàng)產(chǎn)業(yè)的發(fā)展中起的重要作用】</span>Being an ambitious girl who wants to bring prosperity to the culture industry, I recognize the necessity to learn advanced marketing theories<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【希望讓文化產(chǎn)業(yè)更加繁榮】</span>. As such, I am determined to pursue a Master's degree in marketing that can help me achieve my goals. I am confident that I can play a significant role in advancing the cultural and creative industries, bringing the beauty and complexity of Chinese culture to a global audience <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【聯(lián)系職業(yè)規(guī)劃】</span>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Analysis</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>原文的興趣起源涉及的點(diǎn)其實(shí)很多，但是講的很泛也沒有「我」切實(shí)相關(guān)的事例；<strong>一是整體邏輯線不夠清晰。</strong>既想體現(xiàn)「我」受家庭因素培養(yǎng)出的商業(yè)素養(yǎng)和對營銷的行業(yè)認(rèn)知與運(yùn)用，又要把營銷和「我」對文化產(chǎn)業(yè)的繼承與發(fā)展結(jié)合來說明未來的職業(yè)走向，<strong>二是沒什么新意。</strong>這是因?yàn)槌Ｒ?guī)的申請要素過多，各要素之間的聯(lián)系又不緊密且沒有詳細(xì)闡述，導(dǎo)致了這樣形同流水賬一般的議論。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>因此，修改后的PS是刪去了行業(yè)分析和家庭相關(guān)的內(nèi)容，而是<strong>從學(xué)生的經(jīng)歷中挖掘出「文化產(chǎn)業(yè)營銷」這個(gè)點(diǎn)</strong>，先是講清楚「我」對中國傳統(tǒng)文化的熱愛是我在大學(xué)期間開展多元文化營銷活動的一個(gè)刺激點(diǎn)，然后圍繞「文化營銷」細(xì)致展開「我」如何運(yùn)用媒介策劃營銷，并收到了良好的營銷效果--受眾對文化的認(rèn)知和熱愛提高，由此生發(fā)為文化產(chǎn)業(yè)貢獻(xiàn)的職業(yè)理想以及要實(shí)現(xiàn)這一理想還需做的努力。這樣層層遞進(jìn)，以時(shí)間線串聯(lián)，不僅佐證了「我」與傳統(tǒng)文化的淵源由來之深，還以具體事例如舉辦成人禮儀式、對歷史妝容，褙子，香囊，瓔珞制作等的精講來直接烘托「我」利用營銷宣揚(yáng)傳統(tǒng)文化的技巧，一步步點(diǎn)出營銷是助力文化產(chǎn)業(yè)興旺的重要工具，也就自然過渡到學(xué)習(xí)營銷就是「我」實(shí)現(xiàn)未來目標(biāo)邁出的關(guān)鍵一步。<strong>這樣在前面把整體的基調(diào)和行業(yè)聯(lián)系明確好，后面的經(jīng)歷選取和闡釋擇校原因的針對性就會更強(qiáng)。</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span class="h1">方法二：由「小」見「大」，小事也顯大技能</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Before</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I interned at McKinsey from March to June 2022 as a data analytics intern.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實(shí)習(xí)崗位：數(shù)據(jù)分析師】</span> The company provides various services related to university professional development, teaching quality and improvement analysis, enrollment evaluation, graduate training quality evaluation, and student growth evaluation.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【公司的服務(wù)范疇：為高校提供專業(yè)建設(shè)咨詢、教學(xué)質(zhì)量與改進(jìn)分析、生源與招生評價(jià)、畢業(yè)生培養(yǎng)質(zhì)量評價(jià)、學(xué)生成長評價(jià)等】</span> My responsibilities included data analysis and report writing using Python and Excel. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【職責(zé)：數(shù)據(jù)分析和報(bào)告撰寫】</span>Despite feeling pressure to quickly learn the necessary tools and methods, I completed my tasks within a week and learned to believe in myself and do things carefully. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【亮點(diǎn)一：快速學(xué)習(xí)能力】</span>Under the guidance of my mentor, I became more proficient in data visualization and familiarized myself with the application of Python and Excel, report writing, and making presentations.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【亮點(diǎn)二：熟練運(yùn)用Python, Excel和數(shù)據(jù)可視化】</span> I also gained an understanding of the workflow and main tasks of data analysis work, <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【了解數(shù)據(jù)分析主體流程】</span>and believe that I will continue to improve my skills in future studies and work.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>After</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Encouraged by my growth in the China Undergraduate Mathematical Contest in Modeling (CUMCM), I secured a coveted position as a data analyst at MyCOS in 2022. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【解釋開始這段實(shí)習(xí)的背景：在中國數(shù)模大賽上培養(yǎng)了很輕的數(shù)據(jù)分析能力】</span>My primary responsibilities involved meticulously cleaning and processing data, alongside compiling comprehensive reports for the company's diverse range of analytical services in conformity with universities' teaching and enrollment. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【簡述職責(zé)的同時(shí)把公司的服務(wù)內(nèi)容也化用在內(nèi)】</span>Despite the demanding nature of my role, I quickly acclimated myself to the multifaceted operations within a week. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【優(yōu)勢一：多領(lǐng)域任務(wù)處理能力】</span>Throughout my internship, I gained insights into how to effectively visualize complex data sets using advanced computer software.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【優(yōu)勢二：對復(fù)雜數(shù)據(jù)集高效率地可視化】</span> With a sharper analytical perspective, coupled with proficiency in Python and Excel, I have expanded my horizons and deepened my understanding of the role of a data analyst.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【優(yōu)勢三：對數(shù)據(jù)分析這一崗位的洞察加深】</span> I am committed to relentlessly pursuing breakthroughs in this dynamic and exciting field.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Analysis</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>原文就是中規(guī)中矩的按照中文提綱把實(shí)習(xí)崗位和地點(diǎn)、公司的服務(wù)介紹、「我」的基本工作和成長依次寫好，沒有「硬傷」卻存在一些「軟肋」：首先是開頭，很明顯可以單獨(dú)成段的一節(jié)內(nèi)容，<strong>和上下文沒有一條聯(lián)系緊密的線索</strong>；其次是對公司的介紹，雖然是為了方便招生官了解該公司的性質(zhì)，<strong>但是沒有很好的和自己的數(shù)據(jù)分析師這一崗位結(jié)合，存在的意義就被削弱了</strong>；第三是在證明「我」運(yùn)用分析軟件處理數(shù)據(jù)時(shí)提到了「導(dǎo)師指導(dǎo)」，<strong>這樣會讓「我」的自主數(shù)據(jù)分析能力大打折扣；最后就是和「我」未來的規(guī)劃轉(zhuǎn)的有點(diǎn)生硬</strong>。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>修改后的PS是把缺乏聯(lián)系的各個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)進(jìn)行了優(yōu)化。首先結(jié)合上一段的數(shù)模競賽「我」也是負(fù)責(zé)數(shù)據(jù)分析，而且在這過程中能力提升，所以「我」有信心擔(dān)任數(shù)據(jù)分析師這一崗位--將上下文做一個(gè)<strong>邏輯過渡</strong>；其次對「我」負(fù)責(zé)的基礎(chǔ)工作進(jìn)行了放大--是對公司涵蓋的各項(xiàng)高校教育教學(xué)相關(guān)的數(shù)據(jù)進(jìn)行清洗、分析、可視化并產(chǎn)出報(bào)告，<strong>巧妙的把公司的工作重點(diǎn)和「我」所負(fù)責(zé)的結(jié)合，避免了各點(diǎn)之間的割裂</strong>。第三，「我」在處理數(shù)據(jù)過程中體現(xiàn)的能力和優(yōu)勢也直接放大，概括成「我」的多任務(wù)處理能力和軟件操作能力；最后，<strong>基于之前放大版的能力，引申出「我」對行業(yè)的認(rèn)知加深才比較合理</strong>，也由此堅(jiān)定「我」對未來在數(shù)據(jù)分析崗位上做出新突破的信念。通過這樣的「放大」處理，事與事之間的合理性加強(qiáng)，「我」的數(shù)據(jù)處理能力在實(shí)際環(huán)境中的運(yùn)用也顯得更有說服力，更生動。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span class="h1">方法三：知「微」見「著」，宏觀能力更匹配</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Before</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>In my third year of university, I took a course on sensors which included both experiments and independent design projects.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【項(xiàng)目內(nèi)容：傳感器實(shí)驗(yàn)和獨(dú)立傳感器設(shè)計(jì)項(xiàng)目】 </span>The experiments were conducted at night, lasting around four hours each, and required precise data collection and processing. Despite the exhaustion and the possibility of errors, I never thought of giving up, believing that persistence would eventually pay off. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實(shí)驗(yàn)的現(xiàn)實(shí)困難：晚上實(shí)驗(yàn)且耗時(shí)過長】</span>During one experiment, I discovered a large discrepancy between the calculated and actual fitting lines, and found the cause to be an inappropriate gain adjustment in the differential amplifier. I improved the setup and obtained precise results. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實(shí)驗(yàn)一：找到了導(dǎo)致計(jì)算擬合線與實(shí)際之間差異的原因&mdash;差動放大器的增益調(diào)節(jié)不合適】</span>In another experiment, many of my peers encountered issues with the speedometer, but I managed to find a working one, and received praise from the teacher during the final presentation. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實(shí)驗(yàn)二：換用轉(zhuǎn)速臺實(shí)現(xiàn)良好的呈現(xiàn)效果】</span>For my independent design project, I had to measure the diameter of a stepped shaft using a non-contact method, with a resolution of 2&mu;m. After careful consideration, I opted for a fiber optic displacement sensor and received a good grade for my design. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【自主設(shè)計(jì)：選用光纖位移傳感器實(shí)現(xiàn)高分辨率的非接觸式測量階梯軸直徑】</span>This practical experience enhanced my proficiency in applying professional knowledge to real-world problems and taught me the importance of paying attention to details.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>After</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>During my junior year, I undertook a challenging case study that entailed conducting and recording data from 20 experiments.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【點(diǎn)出項(xiàng)目主題：實(shí)驗(yàn)并記錄20次實(shí)驗(yàn)數(shù)據(jù)】 </span>To ensure success, I devised a comprehensive organizational plan that prioritized my daytime studies while also accounting for nighttime experimentation and potential emergencies. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【項(xiàng)目之前：進(jìn)行細(xì)致的實(shí)驗(yàn)規(guī)劃，合理安排時(shí)間并預(yù)測可能的突發(fā)情況】</span>My meticulous planning paid off in spades, as I was able to fine-tune trial details such as adjusting the differential amplifier and maximizing efficacy through the use of an optical fiber displacement sensor. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【操作過程：有效調(diào)試實(shí)驗(yàn)細(xì)節(jié)比如調(diào)整差動放大器和改用光纖位移傳感器】</span>My ability to anticipate potential issues and proactively problem-solve resulted in minimal losses and optimal results. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【成果顯著：損失最低且結(jié)果最優(yōu)】</span>I firmly believe that my potential in scheduling and proactive problem-solving skills will prove invaluable in analyzing complex logistics systems and making preparations for logistics problems in advance<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【能力反思：統(tǒng)籌規(guī)劃和解決問題的能力對于分析復(fù)雜的供應(yīng)鏈系統(tǒng)有很大的助益】</span>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Analysis</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>原文是一篇嚴(yán)格意義上來說更適合電氣工程類的課設(shè)經(jīng)歷，整體上沒有特別顯著的和物流管理相關(guān)的點(diǎn)可以用。<strong>如果單純的照搬不僅不能添彩，反而會削弱「我」的競爭優(yōu)勢。</strong>過程中的波折也體現(xiàn)的不深，雖然有反思，<strong>卻因?yàn)槠x項(xiàng)目要求的技能而讓整段經(jīng)歷顯得拉垮。</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>修改后的PS之所以保留這段經(jīng)歷，<strong>一是基于「我」目前只有一個(gè)供應(yīng)鏈相關(guān)的實(shí)習(xí)，為了不讓PS經(jīng)歷顯得過于單薄；二是因?yàn)閾Q個(gè)思路，其實(shí)這段經(jīng)歷也可以變得相關(guān)且出彩。</strong>修改后的PS沒有從傳感器設(shè)計(jì)的角度入手，而是抓住了「20次實(shí)驗(yàn)」和「成果顯著」這兩個(gè)點(diǎn)，分別切入「我」如何對整體的項(xiàng)目流程進(jìn)行設(shè)計(jì)安排，如何優(yōu)化過程中出現(xiàn)的問題，這樣來靠「統(tǒng)籌規(guī)劃」和「解決問題降低損失」，而<strong>這兩個(gè)點(diǎn)就和工業(yè)物流系統(tǒng)設(shè)計(jì)的目的掛上鉤了</strong>；同時(shí)，「我」在實(shí)驗(yàn)中對放大器和傳感器的處理也能體現(xiàn)「工程」相關(guān)的素養(yǎng)。所以，這段經(jīng)歷雖然也比較常規(guī)，沒有特別的亮點(diǎn)，<strong>但是從「細(xì)枝末節(jié)」入手，可以提取「宏觀適配」的技能</strong>，而且這些能力也是「我」之后實(shí)驗(yàn)順利實(shí)現(xiàn)最低損失的保證，這一點(diǎn)也是物流系統(tǒng)希望能實(shí)現(xiàn)的，這樣再往物流行業(yè)上引申會顯得更水到渠成。</p> <p><img src="https://info.compassedu.hk/sucai/content/1682491883589/1682491883589.png" width="808" height="187" /></p>